My egg retrieval was eight days ago, transfer was five days ago. I am calm and crazy at the same time, lol.
What I mean is I don’t feel stressed about it because I believe this is going to work for us. I feel it has been God’s plan for us all along, he led us to this path. Here I am following where I believe I have been led. I am calm. I am praying often. I confess I have had moments where my brain went completely negative. Like on Monday we were in the car about an hour. I had time for thinking and suddenly I had doubts, because it was a three day transfer and not a five. I got scared and had terrible thoughts of failure. But I knew that my faith and my prayers have been very strong these last few weeks, and I also believe when we are putting our faith in God that is when Satan is fighting hardest to shake our faith. So I consciously said- no! get out of my head, you can not have my faith. Then I directed my thoughts to a completely different area of my life.
That other area is getting to home school my daughter. I have wanted to do this since she was born. It’s another one of those feelings that is so strong I know God placed it on my heart. My husband was completely against the idea for a long time. Then he seemed to soften some. We had discussions about it but I did not see him moving to my side. She just turned five so is not scheduled to start till next fall. I decided in December to start homeschooling her now. Which follows Mark 11:24-Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. I kept praying that my husband would change his heart about this, but I also told my husband I would submit to his decision. I thought by beginning our homeschooling now I could show my husband that I can do this, and that she would flourish. And if it did not change his decision she would just be more prepared for school.
So about a week before my egg retrieval my husband officially gave my his blessing to homeschool her instead of sending her to school. I am so thrilled. I went about my life as if my prayer had been answered and it was! But I also fully believe that it was specifically answered at that time for a reason. In these last few weeks every time I get the scary negative thoughts (which is not often) I can flip the switch and think about my plans for homeschool. He gave me this news at the absolute right time, I can’t thank him enough for the two gifts he gave me- his yes, and the very effective way to keep my thoughts and heart positive!
Okay so that covers the calm part… on to crazy. Saturday, the day of transfer, I had no cramping, Sunday either. I was okay most of the day Monday. By Monday evening I have… I don’t even know what to call it. Its not cramping, its more moderate constant pressure, with an occasional quick sharp pain. And it is worse when I go from sitting to standing. And I am having to pee every 45 minutes. Logically I know there is no way I am peeing from pregnancy yet, but hopefully… I am seeing everything as a crazy good sign.
I am following Mark 11:24 in this as well. I am allowing myself to seriously think about names. I found out our car seat is expired so I know we are going to need a new one. I am referring to my pregnancy- not the potential pregnancy. I am going about my life as if my prayer has been granted. That’s what I intend to continue doing until my prayer is answered.